One Voice. One Song. Two Hearts. United.

Love Matters Most

2011-02-16T19:09:00.000-08:00

God has been teaching me how to love people. He has been showing me that it is not about me, and that even though when I don't feel loved, I should still love. But not only the way I know how to, but love how they NEED to be loved.

Loves never gives up on people. We need to love how God intended.

I Corinthians 13 tells us all about Love and how God fashioned it to be, just like He fashioned us!

Starting in verse 4 it really takes off and tell us all kinds of characteristics of love: It is patient, It is kind, it does not boast, it is not proud, it does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preservers. Love never fails.

I feel that we need to read this Love chapter every week to remind us how to love. I was just reading through it recently and found myself saying, "Oh yeah! Wow, that has to do with love too? I need to work on that.."

How do we love someone that has offended us?

How do we love someone that has given up on us?

Who has been rude to us?

Or who has flat out made it clear that they don't want to be associated with you?

How do we love then?

Supernaturally and by God's grace, that's how.

Then what are we so afraid of?

The cost.

The cost of loving someone, even though we get nothing in return.

Didn't Jesus give the best example of that fearless love on the cross?

He did that for us. So that we may too love like that. Through persecution, He still loved us.

1 John 4:16

"So we know and rely on the love that God has given us. That is how we know that we live in Him and He in us: He has given us his spirit.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us."

God has spoken to me and told me that if I know Him, I will give those really hard-to-love-people up to Him, and through Him, and by His grace, I shall love them.

No one said it was easy.

I write because I know my Father, and I hope to share with others how they may know Him better. My ministry is simple, yet complicated. Minister to others and LOVE ON THEM.

1 John 2: 14

"I write you young people, because you are strong, and the word of God lives in you, and you have overcome the evil one.

Praise God! I have overcome!

My challenge to you, (as well as myself) to pray and ask God to show you who it is He wants you to love on this week, even though it may not be very easy. Remember, by God's grace, we can reach out and love those who we would have never imagined we would be walking and talking with.

I Corinthians 13:13

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Hidden

2011-01-12T14:03:00.000-08:00

Having no voice really makes you realize how much you actually use your voice in a day.

Being a preschool teacher, I really need to use my voice. But it wasn't until I lost it, that I realized how much I needed it and took it for granted. Isn't that the case for most things we lose?

God is always showing me something in my weaknesses: I have no voice. Yet, I had a voice up until now and was I using it for glorious things? Well, not exactly. I have ministry opportunities here and there. Am I putting myself out there? Not really. I could be doing more. Now that I am voice impaired, of course I make excuses, but when I eventually get my voice back, I really have no excuse.

Do I hear God's voice clearly? The answer is yes I do. I have a gift. A gift that was given to me when I was just a little girl. A gift that is not meant to be hidden. What am I so scared of?

Why does the enemy whisper such horrible things in our ears?

I know anyone can relate. Those negative thoughts that start out as little negative suggestions and then in turn become a state a mind. Why are we living feeling sorry for ourselves? I don't want to feel sorry myself anymore. I want to use my voice that God has given me! Since I cannot physically speak, I will write what is on my heart. What is stirring inside.

I am in the process of self-discovery. I am in need of MORE, but don't know how to get there. I am now attempting to ween myself out of the kid business and now move onto a possible writing career? We'll see. The point is: I need to live in a way that I constantly surrender to God. My writing, my free will, my ideas for the future; I need to surrender all of it.

I have to trust that the promises God has given me are real and that they are true and they WILL HAPPEN. Definitely not in my time frame but in His. I am growing, and I am being shaped. It hurts, like my throat hurts right now. But it's a wake up call! I had my voice all along, why wasn't I using it to worship praises to my King? I had a voice, why wasn't I using it to proclaim the truth? Why wasn't I using it to encourage my friends and family? Now my voice is gone. But not forever. For when it comes back, I will be ready to use it again :)

To those of you who have a voice: Use it for His Glory and Purpose. Pray to the Father about what that means for you.

I was made to worship. Whether it be in song, with my words, or in my writing. I was made to worship. I surrender all. For I cannot do it on my own. Thank you Jesus for the reminder, and please can I have my voice back now? :)

Listening to Brian and Jenn Johnson's cd "We Believe."

God is writing my story

2010-12-10T18:46:00.000-08:00

I must say that the inspiration award yet again goes to Donald Miller, who has written quite a fun read so far. I don't know if I'm enjoying the book or if it's more the fact that Justin is reading out loud to me :) Donald Miller, in his recent book, A Million Miles in a Thousand Years, talks about God being the writer of His story and how He knows what is best for the character (Don) to move forward.

I simply adored this concept. The God Almighty is, on a daily basis, offering a better plot, a surprise twist or possibly a more satisfying outcome.

I wish I could write for living. Get paid to write? That would be awesome. Deadlines? Not so awesome. BUT at least I would be writing and people would be reading it.

I want to live in expectation of what God has for me. I want to be living every day thinking that it's an opportunity for something more. I just wish I would trust God a little bit more. I wish I would allow him to work through me, instead of getting scared and full of doubt and allowing the enemy to overwhelm me and tell me what I am not capable of.

What would I write about, you ask? Well, I'm starting with this blog to keep me writing, but eventually I would like to actually finish a book. My anticipated book would be entitled: "My Soul Can't Dance Without You" by Melissa Nichols. :)

It would be about how God truly works in our lives and truly cares about what is going on with us. It would be about how He knows our innermost thoughts and how He designed us and absolutely loves us. About how He does talk to us on a daily basis and us learning how to listen. I would write testimonies of how God has worked so intimately in my life, and how ever since I have dedicated my life to Him, it has been nothing but interesting and amazing: that I now know who I am in Christ and what my vision, calling, and gifts are. The book would help people--especially women, since it is from a woman's point of view and I am called to women's ministry--understand how God only wants us to surrender to Him and live in obedience, so He can in turn build our faith and love on us as life takes us through ups and downs and different circumstances.

We are not alone. I know that this is something we all need to hear. A reassurance that God knows where you're at, that He's speaking to you and that He actually knows what's next. He is writing our story. How cool is that?! Why wouldn't I want to ask and listen to the God who designed me and knows my innermost thoughts, who already knows what is to become of me?

When I was younger, I would ask my dad questions like:

"How does God know what is going to happen next?"

"If He already knows what is going to happen, why do I need to make any decisions at all?"

"What if I mess up, then does that mean He's mad at me and I can't do great things anymore?"

My dad, obviously overwhelmed with questions from a 10 year old, responded:

"It's like this Mels. " He laid his hands out on the table and put one hand on one end and the other hand far away from it and said, " Think of it like a comic strip: God knows the end and He knows the beginning."

I still remember that today and I know he was trying to to satisfy all my questions as a little one... but you know... it really made sense to me.

God is writing my story.

He already knows, I just have to ask, and then follow directions.

{Listening to: Bethany Dillion-- self-titled album :) Awesome stuff, definitely recommend it!}

Three Little Words

2010-11-13T17:50:00.000-08:00

"I love you teacher." Robbie said looking up at me with his blue eyes as we were finishing up snack. Such big words for such a little guy. This four year old doesn't have any idea how much more hope he gave me that school day when he said those words to me. Some days are better than others in the life of a preschool teacher. I love to teach and see the kids learning and enjoying themselves; Yet, the kids aren't always listening or paying attention. I try not to let this discourage me, they are just little, they don't know! It's funny how whenever I tell people I am a preschool teacher I almost get the same response: "Aw! How cute! It must be so fun working with the little ones, you never have to grow up! You must be SO patient."

I find this funny because I used to think I was a patient person and that it was one of my strong points, until two things happened in my life: I became a preschool teacher and I got married. Sometimes I think if I hear "Teacher! Teacher! Teacher!" One more time, I think I am going to go crazy. I can imagine how Mom's must feel when they hear, "Mom! Mommy! Mama!" Over and over again and all day long. It's hard to keep my sanity when a handful of little ones want my attention all at one time. Other days, I try to look on the bright side of things and think how awesome it is that I am put in such a position that the kids look up to me, want to interact with me, and act as if I am the best thing 'since sliced bread'. (that saying is thanks to my grandma, the first time I heard it I thought SHE was the funniest thing since sliced bread).

Its great actually, the little ones laugh at everything I say, sing all the songs I sing, and want to ask me all kinds of questions. They act as though I am, for two and half hours and three days a week, the most interesting person they have ever encountered. Who wouldn't want that?

The kind of problems one shall encounter when in the profession of being a preschool teacher is that you must know the words to the songs you are singing so that that they in turn, shall know them as well. For example: With Christmas coming up, it is my job to teach my kids in my class all the songs they will be singing for the Christmas program. I know it doesn't sound like much, but it being my first year of teaching, I need to know the songs, so I can teach it to them. The problem is, I am learning as I go as well. I am doing my best. I have been listening to the Christmas program cd in my car. Yes, I am singing Christmas songs in November before Thanksgiving, but I don't really have much of a choice.

Another problem with learning as you go is making sure I am always prepared for class, even though I am an assistant for another class in the afternoon and have to be ready for that class. I'm attempting to find the balance so I don't continue to forget the kids birthdays and not have any thing written in my teacher planner for my "circle times". Usually I wing it, but I don't just want to get through my circle times with my kids, I want to have fun with the stories, make them smile, and be creative with the time I do have with them; so that they are learning and experiencing Jesus' love through me with the time that we have together.

Being patient and being married is a whole other story! My husband is the most patient person I know--so much in fact that he puts me thinking I am patient, to shame. I say this in the most light hearted way because it is actually funny how laid back and go with the flow my husband is. Being with him has made me notice things about myself that I never noticed about myself before. A few of those things being: I worry way more than I should, I am not as easy going as I thought, and I am quite the planner. There is something satisfying about writing things down in my planner. I am not one of those who have an i phone just yet, so I am not sure how satisfying of an experience it will be to use a touch screen instead of a pen. We'll see. But I must say, that because of Justin, I am not much of a worrier (I don't like the term "worry wort"), than I used to be. And for that, I am extremely thankful.

My inspiration, I must say, goes to little Robbie-- Who really has no idea how much that meant to me when he said three little words. It's all about perspective, and it shifted when he spoke those heart changing words to me because I realized, I am here for the kids, not for me or for the projects, or even for the Christmas songs! I am here for them, and in turn for Jesus in me, who will reach their little hearts :)

Stop talking about it

2010-11-11T18:20:00.000-08:00

In hopes of giving myself a goal of writing at least one post every day and revamping my blog; I will start writing consistently--which is really what I am suppose to be doing. It is what has been ingrained in me for so long and spoken over me: Write Melissa! Write!

I actually am not really quite sure why I am suppose to be writing and why it is so important, yet God keeps telling me to share. I really do have so much to share, but I just don't know where to begin. I just started this book that I got at a book store at Bethel Church while visiting Redding, CA. It was quite an expansive book, and Justin put all his other books back that he wanted in order for me to get this pricey book. Which I thought was very kind and thoughtful of him. He is always so encouraging of my writing, even though he doesn't exactly know the extent of it or how it's all really going to turn out, yet he still cheers me on. Anyway, this book that I got should be a good start to what I actually want to accomplish: WRITING A BOOK. But not only writing a book but publishing a book...eventually. This book has the seemingly uncommon title of: "How to Write and Publish Your Book." By Aaron McMahon. What drew me to this book was not just the boring title, but the fact that that boring title, was on my mind...How do I actually write and publish my own book? I mean how do I get this thing started??? I really had no idea, I just knew it was on my heart and mind and that it was my next goal that I was attempting to achieve.

What REALLY drew me in to actually opening the book and considering it was that the subtext after the title read: "An impartation of practical keys to unlocking your divine book-writing destiny." After reading that I was almost convinced.

This book probably would have looked so fancy or had been so intriguing if it wasn't for the fact that I had just had a conversation with Justin over delicious coffee about wanting to pursue and challenge myself more creatively, and I knew that meant I needed to start writing. But not just talking about it anymore, because ask my friends and family--I have been talking about it for years. My New Years resolution for 4 years in a row was to write and book and finish it.

I knew as the words were coming out of mouth and as I was expressing myself about what I should be doing--that God would give me the tools to do it. It is so pressing upon my heart that I just need to get started! If though I'm not quite sure what that means yet.

So let me tell you about this super cool book. It helps to break down my ideas into little boxes and sort out my thoughts strategically so I can work on putting it all into an outline. It's a 'write in' book so I get to not only read about it but start writing stuff down right away! This is my first day. I am excited to start it. I feel like God gave it to me and He was just like, "Melissa, here you go...now start writing!"

As of right now my writing will be purposeful if it's meant to be, but if not, it's not. I am no longer going to put pressure on myself to just write amazing life changing things--because God tells me every day that I already have what it takes and that I just need to step out and trust him. I'm excited about my new challenge for myself.

Justin, (my husband) and Lauren, (my best friend who lives in Cali) are my accountability people to keep me on it. Justin likes to be my little editor and he's good at it so I suck it up and let him edit my stuff, even though I don't love it. He doesn't change what I write though, he just give's me lectures about you're and your and their and there's and how these words sound the same but are used differently. I love my husband, but he is a mr. smarty pants. I have learned so much from him though and he inspires me. I know it's just because he wants me to be the best writer that I can be, and I love him for that! I should be happy he's willing to help me and be involved! God placed him in my life to be my help mate right? Sometimes I am just stubborn and I think he's just trying to correct me and tell me what to do. But sometimes we need more correction in our lives so we can be better, you know?

An inspiration for my writing this week (which I am going to try to list every week): Justin and I have been reading a book called, "A Million Miles in a Thousand Years" by Donald Miller. He is such a real and down to earth writer. His writing is amusing at times and easy to read, yet there is a lot of substance to it. I thought while Justin was reading aloud to me, I am really enjoying this guys writing and he is just talking about his day. But he wasn't just talking about his day, he was talking about what he got out of the day, what impacted him, what struck him funny, what hurt him, and what he felt like God was showing him. Then I thought, I can write like that. I do write like that! I just need to do it.

Side note:I am listening to Tenth Avenue North and Starfield and I'm finding it very inspiring. If you, (the reader) need to do any creative work, I highly recommend it. Also, Brooke Fraser's new album, "Flags" is amazing!

Delightful Little Things

2010-03-30T21:18:00.000-07:00

An 8 year old inspired me yesterday when she showed me a notebook pasted with horses that she simply listed in neat printed penmanship, a list of all the things she loves.

It made me think: What would my list look like now if I were to write out all of the things that I simply LOVE?

I thought I would give it a try...

I love when the sun comes out after a week of rain in Oregon, and it makes it all worth it.

I love holding an umbrella in the rain.

I love when I get a random text from my fiance while I'm at work, telling me hi or that he loves me.

I love drinking coffee when it's cold outside.

I love reading and listening to the rain.

I love writing in coffee shops.

I love fridays with Becky.

I love when the littles at school make the effort to say hello to me and give me hug. It makes it all worth it.

I love making a difference in children's lives.

I love working with Jordan even when it is challenging.

I love to see Jordan smile.

I love being silly with kids, they're my biggest fans.

I love cuddling with Justin on the couch.

I love Justin's laugh.

I love when Justin and I spend time together doing anything.

I love when Justin kisses me and how it's new every time.

I love my family and how silly they are.

I love looking out my windows in my apartment.

I love dipping biscotti and/or shortbread cookies in my coffee.

I love hanging out with my girls and laughing about everything.

I love when Justin wears his glasses.

I love my macbook.

I love the color red.

I love getting cozy.

I love sleeping in.

I love planning my wedding.

I love Justin's and my new townhouse that we are moving into soon!

I love books.

I love getting new make up.

I love when Lauren comes to visit.

I love seeing my mom after a long time and having so much to say.

I love being silly with Justin and making each other crack up.

I love Justin hugs.

I love watching little Ro run. (Justin's nephew)

I love getting a fresh perspective.

I love hearing God's Father-like voice speak to me.

I love when my dad calls me.

I love when friends go out of their way to show me that they appreciate me.

I love how little baby girls Josie and Jordan look like their mammas.

I love playing checkers with Zion.

I love playing scrabble.

I love getting compliments.

I love surprises.

I love feeling creative.

I love writing.

I love when things match.

I appreciate the little things in life that make me happy. These' I loves' aren't based on my life but just for this certain time in my life. Thank you to all the people that make 'my loves' possible :)

Breakthrough

2010-03-28T18:34:00.000-07:00

I can feel my heart beating in my chest to the rhythm of my footsteps-

The only sound I hear is my breathing in this surrounding darkness.

If only I could find my voice...

If only I had a choice,

Don't I?

I can choose to stop running and face whatever may be chasing me, but at risk of getting caught.

SOMTHING is out there and it has my scent,

tracking my every move.

If only I could find my voice...

I continue to run into the present darkness, searching for some way out.

Is that light that I see in the distance?

If only I could get there...

As I run the light becomes closer and closer, but yet I stuck somehow.

How do I get to where the light is?

The closer I get to the light, the more encouraged I feel.

All of a sudden I feel that FEELING-

Something is out there.

Oppressed, I attempt to continue to run towards the light, yet stumble and fall to the ground.

As I feel the darkness surround me, I begin to cry.

I still can't see anything but that far off light...

Is their hope?

I attempt to get back up, but something is holding me down,

If only I could just open my mouth...

Tears stinging my eyes, I struggle to bring myself up.

I can't run.

I can't move.

"It's all in your head, you don't see anything," I hear a voice from the darkness say.

"You can't open your mouth, you can't sing, Jesus Christ is not your king."

An aching from within builds from inside of me, as if it has been there along.

As if this longing has been instilled from the depths of my soul...

"OH GLORY! Jesus, now I know!

I know why I am here and that you are with me,

wanting to set me free!"

An overwhelming joy bubbles up inside of me, allowing me to hear, along me to see!

"My child, open up your mouth and sing!

I am with you and always will be! "

With the darkness overwhelming me, the JOY overcomes!

I now know I am not alone!

"You aren't getting anywhere, and you're nothing special.." the darkness states.

"You will not succeed, nor make a difference, no one cares about your influence."

I close my eyes and SHOUT! -

"Jesus!" I sing out with tears of joy-

"Jesus! Breakthrough!"

I sing aloud:

"This is Jesus, in His Glory, King of Heaven, dying for me!

It is finished! He has done it!

Death is beaten, Heaven beckons me!

The voice in the darkness is no longer there,

I open my eyes, no longer feeling oppressed.

I stand up, and seeing the light much closer now, I continue to run towards it.

I am not fearful, yet compelled to keep running.

I feel God pressing me towards the goal.

I am encouraged as I feel the freedom of His embrace.

I am running when I reach an opening.

I find myself standing on the edge of a cliff several hundred feet from water level,

big open clear sky ahead of me;

darkness behind me, and I look to see rushing water below me.

"Now where do I go?" I say out loud.

"Sing My Name." I hear God say.

I stand there for just a moment, open up my mouth and sing:

" Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, theirs just something about that name..

Master, Maker, Jesus, all of heaven and earth proclaim!"

"Trust me" I hear Him say,

"Jump!"

I don't hesitate as I dive down into the crystal clear water.

I've got you my child,

don't worry, I've got you."

Credit to my recent favorite: Kim walker's song, "See His Love"

Also: Worship song, "Theirs just something about that name" sung by many.

A Longing from within

2010-02-27T14:02:00.001-08:00

I am one girl, standing-

alone.

I open my mouth to shout,

but no noise comes out.

Am I dreaming?

What is this I am feeling?

A need to go deeper,

A want for something more.

But I AM NOT alone.

I have those placed beside me.

Same plan, same purpose.

Those who are chosen, just like me.

I am one worshiper-

among many.

How can my voice me heard

When I don't hear anything coming out of my mouth?

Hello? Is anyone there?

YES I AM HERE.

I want..more...Jesus..

Fill me with your presence.

Reveal to me your plan.

Allow me to be heard!

I desire to commune with my Jesus.

I hear your voice.

Grant me wisdom to speak your truth.

Fill my emptiness with all that has do with you.

Chatter Chatter Chatter...

Allow it to mean something!

Oh God fill me!

Don't let it all be in vain!

I give my life, my heart, my world-

to you.

Allow me to just know...

to be in tune with who you are

and what you want for me.

I cast out all fear in Jesus Name!

Grant me my gifts that you have given me-

And I will in turn give them back to you..

Amen.

A start..

2009-11-11T12:22:00.000-08:00

How do I begin?

How do I get there?

Step by step, word by word, I get closer and closer, right?

Closer to what, seems to be, an unattainable goal.

I smile because their IS hope.

Now I just need to mix that hope with some perseverance and then my path will be marked out before me, right?

I'm not sure about a certain formula, or a way of doing things that will get me there.

I am sure of one thing though:

A passion. A love for writing , words on a page, pen to paper, and empty notebooks filled with possibilities. I'm sure what God has given me. A gift. A love; for what I am doing now and what is going to come of it. An excitement that God's in control of my gift, and He will ultimately do what he will do with it.

I just have to be willing...

The lovely, pure and thoughtful..

2009-11-07T12:57:00.000-08:00

I wish, sometimes, that I would look at my life with more depth and FEELING.

That I would live EVERY moment, in that moment and not living just for what's next.

Why should I spend my questioning about why? And when? And how? When life, is happening right now.

I want to live my life with a new appreciation for laughter, lovely things, and relationships.

I don't want to worry or analyze or focus on things, that just don't matter.

The truth is, I want to make steps towards what is real, and enjoy myself.

When did I become to distant and unaware of who I am and what surrounds me? I don't want to simply exist. Instead I want to insist upon living a full, passionate life, that is not only filled with joy, but glorifies that Almighty God! I dedicate my life to Him and His plan, and I am confident in that plan.

Sometimes we have to go through the storms in life, to really appreciate when the sun comes shining through...

Listen

2009-08-02T20:47:00.000-07:00

I live my life scared.

Why?

Is it the people I fear?

Is it love that I fear?

I live a life of purpose...

Do I?

Do I strive towards the things that matter?

Listen Child.

"When I heard your voice, and you said my name, my heart it yearns.."

~I am Yours by Misty Edwards

Haggai 2:3

Who of you is left, who saw this house in its former glory? How does it look to you now? Does it not seem to you like nothing? But now, be strong! Declares the Lord, and work! For I am with you! And my Spirit remains among you. Do not fear!

A shaking must take place..

What exactly do you have in store for me God?

It All Changed At The Cross

2009-04-12T14:11:00.000-07:00

I can feel you calling me,

Calling me back to you.

I can feel you whisper to me,

Whisper to me in my ear.

You are desperate for me,

Show me that you are near!

Every day it gets more clear,

Why I am here.

Desperate for you,

Hoping you will come,

And meet me here.

He's Alive!

A stirring in my spirit,

That brings me to joyful tears.

A shift in my world,

That brings me to my knees.

A change that happens,

Because of a sacrifice,

That was made.

A voice that calls your name,

Calls you to choose life,

Over death.

Because of a choice that was already made,

It has already been established.

Define me.

Overwhelm me.

Consume me.

A connection that can only be felt through the Hold Spirit.

A connection that depends on a daily renewal of the mind.

Who are we to take control?

Let's do it His way instead...

A destiny.

A plan.

A purpose.

A promise.

An unending life...

A decision...

Your grace is sufficient for me!

Lose your life, so that you can find it.

Amen.

Friendly Daisies

2009-02-02T18:37:00.000-08:00

I wish I could say I was doing it to get attention. This three week long cold has seemed to have gotten attached to me. "Cold, cold go away, come again another day!!"

Does that saying work only with the rain?

Now, I will sing the song that I sang to my boyfriend, Justin earlier today, "This is the cold that never ends, it just goes on and on my friend! Some people started thinking that it was gonna go away, but I kept on coughing forever just the same. This is the cold that never ends.."

You get the point.

After not sleeping and not eating for some time, one tends to find the little things in life that cheer you up. Last week, Justin brought me Daisies,(my favorite flower), in the honor of it being a wednesday.(Cute) WELL! In order to keep myself sane this past week, I have carried my daisies from room to room with me as I move about the house, simply because daisies are very friendly and they cheer me up :) Has anyone ever seen the movie, You Got Mail?

Licorice, reading a good book, (thanks Roz), peppermint tea in a cute mug, and scrabble, are only a handful of things that simply tend to make my day lately.

Who knew that the little things can keep you happy when your sick at home...

Miss you mom :(

Lil Adentures

2009-01-27T13:58:00.000-08:00

Gabby dramatically put her little hand to her forehead and allowed herself to fall over and faint. She lay still, unmoving on the inside playground floor. Her little friends, Emma and Bailey, quickly ran to her aid, the girls both asked, "Gabby! Are you ok??" No answer. Bailey swept her friends hair out of her eyes to see her eyes closed, but blinking. "Oh no! Bailey exclaimed, "She's dead!" Emma hears Bailey but looks at Gabby to give her diagnosis. She looks at Bailey and says, "She is in a deep sleep..only true loves kiss can wake her up now!" It was their class's turn at recess time and Emma knew she must think fast. She found Brody, The little blond haired boy running by playing tag with his friends, she went to him, tugging on his shirt in a hurried manner, "Brody!! You must come quickly!! "

"What?" Body responded no aware of the girls plot. He walked over and looked down at Gabby's motionless little body, still playing her part. "What's wrong with her? "

Emma and Bailey both in formed him at the same time that she was in a deep sleep and that the only thing that would wake her was true loves first kiss.

"Eww!! No way!!" Brody responded, clearly disgusted and confused at the same time. He ran back to continue playing tag.

Gabby immediately Gabby jumped up after being unmoved for long and put her hands on her little hips, "And why not??!! She continued to run after him, "Brody!!"

Brody clearly was not interested. Gabby didn't understand, she was perfectly cute, just like her parents told her every day, and thats what the boys did in the princess movies she watched.

To Be Continued....

It's Time....

2008-11-13T17:44:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it's time to kick yourself into gear and get started.

Life and opportunities are too short to sit and complain or to wait for something to change or happen. Does God not know our innermost thoughts? Did He not knit us together in our mother's womb? He knows us. He CREATED us! Then why, do I inquire, do we not come to Him in our time of need? Why do we try to handle everything on our own? I know that I myself am guilty of it. I bottle up everything inside until one night I'm crying myself to sleep and I don't know why. Is it because I am unhappy? Or is it simply because I try to control everything in my little world only to watch it fall apart from under feet? HE KNOWS ME. Who else knows me as He does? He can answer those questions that keep you awake at night. He knows everything you feel beneath the surface, beneath the front of how you allow yourself to be perceived. To try to understand the complexity of the Almighty God is too intricate to attempt to describe. Get started! He tells me. "For what?" I ask. "Get started for what?" I ask again. The answer is simply this: Its time.

I could simply ask the same question once again of, "for what? It is time...for what??"

Yet, instead I sit in silence and I wait...He knows my innermost thoughts. He knows my doubts. He knows my anxiety. So I wait.

God has always had a sense of humor with me. Ever since I was a child. He always talked with me and allowed me to feel his presence, He did this so I would never doubt His existence. Yet, I still did; I still doubted him. Everyday. Why? Because I am human with a human mind. Simple I know, but true. A mind that tends to wander, and a mind stuck in a flesh body with a spiritual freedom it cannot comprehend. I always wandered, aimlessly really, in some attempt to find myself, "away from God." He talked to me too much, or so I thought. (Little did I know that this is a gift and I should cherish it everyday. Little did I know that some people struggle to hear the voice of the Lord and I am running from it!)

When I was a little girl about 4 years old, I knew who Jesus was, but I had no idea that He was the one speaking to me all the time; So lovingly, so father-like. I would sing all the time as a little girl out of the pure joy I felt with God and when He was communicating with me. As I got older, and not so naive, I started to think I was a crazy with this voice in my head and I would try to block it out. You know how they say you reach a point when you don't think like a kid anymore? I think that point was when I had a, what I call "Samuel experience"...

I was 11 years old and in my family's spare room, (spare 'oom:) unplugging my Cd player from the outlet, when I heard someone call my name loud and clear. "Melissa". I heard the voice say gently. Being caught off guard, the voice started me so that I hit my head under the table. Thinking that my dad was calling me, I went to go find him, not knowing where he was. I look to see that he was in out backyard tending to the pool. "That doesn't make sense". I thought to myself. "How could I hear my dad's voice so gently when he is all the way outside?"

Shaking it off, I went back to the spare room in a second attempt to unplug my CD player, since I had got too startled the first time to succeed. I bent down once again and went underneath the table and heard the voice again, just as gentle as before."Melissa." I don't hit my head this time, but the voice still surprises me. This time I run outside to see my dad still tending to the pool, just like he was just a couple of minutes ago. I stand there watching him a couple of seconds. He skims the pine needles and dead bugs from the pool with his handy dandy net, or "skimmer", as he called it.

"Hey Mels." My dad smiles and looks up at me from his chore.

"Hey dad," I say contemplatively. "Dad?" I ask.

"Yes, daughter?" he answers me.

"Well, see, um... I was unplugging my CD player from the guest room and I thought I heard you calling me."

"Nope, that wasn't me," my dad says simply.

I stand there in silence for a little while. I was confident I had heard something.

"Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it?" I said to my dad, knowing perfectly well that no one else in that house had that father-like voice that I had heard so clear.

My dad stopped skimming the pool for the unwanted insects, and stopped and thought without looking at me.

A minute passed.

"Maybe, just maybe, it was God calling your name," he says after much thought. My dad smiles a knowing smile.

I think about this. How? I ask myself. I knew who God was. I knew about the Bible. I knew about church. I knew that God loved me, I had grown up on Bible verses and sunday school telling me so. But, I still didn't understand. I knew about God, but why was He calling My NAME??

My dad suggested I go back into the room and answer as Samuel did when he was informed it was God who was calling him. "Here I am". Of course I knew of the story in the Bible.

Little did I know at the time that that experience was only the start of the many experiences that I had yet to experience God talking to me. At 11 years old I was attempting to try to understand what many people have unanswered questions about: separating God in heaven and in church, and God, who is real, who knows each and every one of us and how He tries to communicate with us everyday. The Almighty God in heaven who created both the heavens and the earth talks to us? He knows the comings and going ons of our daily lives? He cares about whether or not I get a job? He cares about my struggles and my insecurities? He cares about me finding love? Its the idea that most people have trouble grasping onto, separating God in heaven, and God with us, communing with us.

I took to heart what my dad said about God calling my name and instead of embracing it as a young girl, I was fearful. I went right into the spare room, shaking, as I have never done before. I bent down underneath the table and yanked the plug out of the outlet and then what did you think I did? I ran out of the room as fast as I could. Thinking that for some reason, me being under that table was the cause of me hearing that voice, calling my name, so gently, so father-like, so... familiar. Little did I know that I didn't have to be under a table to hear God's voice; He would use many different ways of getting my attention...

(To be continued...)

It's Raining..It's Pouring..Old Papa Hi Honey is Snoring!!

2008-08-12T14:56:00.000-07:00

"You two are my favorite people! Both of you come here and give Big Bitty a hug!!"

Those were the words that greeted Justin and I as we arrived at the Storm Family Reunion. I was invited camping for the weekend to meet Justin's extended family and Becky's side, the Storms. "Big Bitty" is the name that Mike refers to himself as the third person, he gave us both a kiss on the cheek.

"I am so happy you guys came! My little babe and darling little bondling girl!! Oh how I love you both!!"

Mike has nicknames for everybody, thats where Justin gets it from. Justin, being the baby of the family, his dad has always called him his little babe, and I don't really understand my nickname, "Little bondling girl", I asked Mike one time what he meant by calling me that, and he said its like what a cute little baby duckling is, just precious! He says. Well, if that were the case, wouldn't he just call me little duckling girl?

Becky is amazing and she prepared all the meals for the week, I ate very well. I learned about some new foods too that I have never tried before. Crab bread was one of them. Very good. Fresh crab, (not that imitation stuff), sour cream, mayonnaise, parsley, garlic, lemon juice, swiss cheese and butter on a baguette bread. Delicious! I found out that Justin loves this stuff and ate like 18 pieces of it...and I'm not exaggerating! Also, I learned a way to make omelets for 30 people successfully. You take two eggs and and place them in a plastic bag. Then you put all the ingredients (which were laid out for us beforehand: tomatoes, cheese, ham, spinach, turkey, avocado, peppers, etc) that you want in your omelette, and you write your name on it.. (this would be a good idea to do before you start putting ingredients in your bag). We then boiled all the bags in hot water for about 14 minutes...and voila! A gourmet omelette! it was so good..I was fascinated with the process which I have obviously never tried before. Beforehand, I did attempt to help Becky in the madness of preparing for 30 people. I found out I can whip up blueberry muffins ( from blueberries that her and I had hand-picked earlier that afternoon), snicker doodles, and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies in one night fairly quickly, with all the ingredients in front of you and two ovens.(and help from Becky). Exhilarating! The best part of camping is by far every meal, I look forward to the announcements that the meals are ready. I also heart coffee in the morning, because no matter what anyone says, coffee heals. Especially after the first morning I had there this last saturday...

I slept in a tent with Justin's parents and his nephew Zion. Well, about 5 o'clock in the morning it decides to rain, pour actually, and not soon after all of us sleeping in the tent are being woken up by drops of water on our faces. The tent was flooding and it was raining outside and their was absolutely nothing we could do about it. Jodi, Justin's sister, was in a tent also with her husband, Chris. She had of course woken up from all the commotion and yelled over to our tent, "Welcome to Oregon Melissa! I bet it doesn't rain like this in California". Actually, it doesn't, but that's not the point. The point is, it was raining and no one had planned on it and at 6:00 am we were stuck in a wet tent with wet sleeping bags.

Zion, at 6 years old, was very confused at the feeling of drops on his head as he woke up, "Gamma Becky..um..is their a hole in this tent?"

"No honey," Becky responded, "Its raining outside."

"Well, when is it gonna stop?" Zion asks as he has a concerned look on his face.

Mike had woken up now as sunshine-ey as ever (because Mike is a morning person). He was in a cot, as was Becky, and I was in a sleeping bag on the ground at the foot of his cot. Well, his face was looking down at me as he smiled and yelled, "Hi Honey!!" In his booming high pitched voice of his. I couldn't help but smile despite the rain. "Don't wake her up Mike," Becky said to her husband as I was still cuddled up in my wet blankets. Zion had completely gotten up now and kept asking Mike what the plan was. Zion saw this situation as a problem that needed to be solved as soon as possible (he is just like his daddy).

"Papa Hi Honey...um..what is the plan?? What are we gonna do?"

Zion has been calling Mike papa hi honey ever since he could talk because that is what he always heard when he was greeted by his papa, "Hi honey!!" In that voice of his.

I went to check my phone to see what time it was, only to found out I didn't have it. I couldn't find it anywhere! I retraced the steps in my mind of when I had my phone last. I remembered I had left it outside the night before! I left the tent in a hurry and ran through the rain to see if it was still where I had left it, on the picnic table. Well, to my dismay and utter disappointment, it was gone! Along with my digital camera as well! I was thinking that if I were in California it would have been stolen, thats what I thought at first. I told Becky and she had insisted that it was not stolen. "I'm sure it wasn't stolen, someone must have picked it up for you when they found out it was raining". Well, she was right. I had found out a little later on that Jodi had picked it up for me and placed it in a dry spot when she had went to the bathroom earlier that morning when it had started to rain. Oh how thankful I was!! Thankful that I lived in a community that didn't steal other peoples things, and thankful that my phone had only been slightly rained on. My phone, after a few minor scares of it not coming back to life, now works just fine. So it rains 75% of the year in Oregon, so what? I can handle it.

Once the sky cleared up and the sunshine peeked through we all decided to go out on the water. Some rode jet skis, others Kayaked. I rode in the fancy boat with Justin, his cousins Clint, Katie, Rosie, and Cody, his Aunt Cindy, Becky and DJ's Sister, Joy (DJ is Jeremy's wife, who is Justin's brother). Katie, who is 10, was attempting to try to convince me to go tubing with her. I was scared out of my mind as I watched her, Joy and Cody try it themselves. It looked like they were almost gonna tip over! Never trying it before, I thought that this was the perfect opportunity for me to go for it. I pushed past my fears, talking myself through it, it didn't matter that Justin said he would go with me and not let anything happen to me or that his 6 year old cousin Cody was more excited than I was.

"Melissa," I said to myself, "You are a very good swimmer, if you tip over you can swim to shore if you have too..plus, you will be wearing a life vest..that allows you to float, what is there to be scared of?"

As I talked myself through it I got on. Cody was in the middle of Justin and I, we went so fast that I popped up and slapped my legs together! That wasn't a very good feeling. Cody was laughing yelling, "Go faster, Go faster!!" As his mother was telling Clint to slow down. I was yelling but what I was saying didn't make any sense at all as I was just screaming noises to get myself to calm down as the adrenaline was racing through me. When I looked ahead wind was hitting my face so fast that I couldn't make out anything in front of me as my eyes were tearing and my hair was flying out of place. BUT when I looked over on the sides of where I was the trees were beautiful as they were passing and the water rushing by, and my boyfriend's face smiling at me and constantly asking me, "Are you ok, baby?"

Getting off the tube, Joy was very proud of me, as was Becky who had had Clint stop the boat to check on the 3 of us. I thought maybe she had heard me screaming. Joy did tell me that if she did it, (it was her first time too), then I would HAVE to do it. That was the deal, so you see, I HAD to go through with it. I am so glad I did.

I love the talks around the campfires of the older generations informing the younger of what once was and what they are to look forward to. Funny stories of recalling past memories, and some sad ones as we remember what made us who we are today. I met so many people this past weekend, all Justin's extended family on his mom's side. It could have been overwhelming, but I found it exciting. They were extremely welcoming and kind, and I saw why Becky turned out the way she is as I got to know her mother more. Becky is always serving other people, as did her mother. So many nice people I met this weekend, I felt honored to have met them and be apart of their little family get together. It made me miss my family even more than I already do. It also made me feel so incredibly blessed for the opportunities and the people that God has placed in my life. I loved the card games and new board games I learned how to play as I got familiar with this group of people.

"I could get used to this.." I thought to myself when the weekend was over.

I feel like I'm breathing...

2008-07-14T21:01:00.000-07:00

Oh the simplicities of life!

I am enjoying every minute of this thing they called "small town living". I am so very thankful what the Lord has provided for me to experience Him in such a divine way today. I woke up got ready and packed a lunch for Justin and I. I met him at the park and waited for him to get done with coaching his dad's kids basketball camp called "Coach Nics Little Hoopsters". He helps his dad coach in a couple of weeks in the summer. It was such a beautiful day outside, not too hot with a slight breeze. After he was all done and had packed all his stuff up, we ate the sandwiches that I had made at a near by picnic bench. I observed several people at the park, doing their own thing. Most of them were woman with their children. Some of them sat in the sun in their tank tops and shorts and chatted with their girlfriends as their kids played in the playground. Some parents had come to see their smaller children play at the basketball camp and cheered them on. Their were some joggers and bike riders. Others playing tennis in a near by court. So much activity going on. I loved it.

Everywhere you go in this town is beautiful. Have I mentioned how green it is? I can't get over how nice everyone is here. They all smile a hello as you pass by, whether of not they know you. All the small town folk that live here pretty much all know each other anyways. Justin and I went on a walk Sunday in the later afternoon and we ran into 4 different people that he knew and had made conversation with as they stopped and said hello. The neighbors, near by school police, his parents friends, kids our age that he went to school with, you get the idea. I am enjoying and embracing all the moments I am privileged with, as I live in this town so different from the one I grew up in.

After Justin and I had lunch, we strolled down to the local coffee shop. I love to sit in there. Not only do they have big comfy couches with colorful pillows I might add, BUT they also have very colorful decorations covering the walls, and is very creative with the different chairs as one can choose to sit at the counter in tall stools where your feet dangle off, (yes even my feet dangle, the chairs are that tall!) OR you may sit by the window and watch as the locals walk by while walking their dogs, or pushing their toddler in a stroller, or holding their significant others hand, or watch the gramma's and grandpas with their grandchildren. I sat by the window this time and once Justin left for his second job ( he works construction and was painting all day), I imagined myself as apart of this town, which I guess I am now, right? I do live here and will soon be working here. I start my job in september. Until then I spend my time with the simple things and doing what I love to do. I wrote all afternoon today. It was an amazing feeling. I felt like I was breathing again. I drink lots of coffee daily. I water the out door plants. I pick raspberries and blueberries and marionbarries (which are only grown in Oregon). Oh! And strawberries! Yes, I hand picked them! I play lots of games in the evening like crochet (we set it up in the back yard, and played with Justin's Brother Jeremy, his wife DJ, and their son, Zion), 313 (a card game I recently learned), and Becky (Justin's mom let me borrow her bike this evening; I toured the neighborhood and watched as everyone was enjoying the weather just as I was. It had gotten so much cooler in the evening and it felt great to be outside! And, I also spend my time with my new boyfriend, Justin, who makes everything fun as I enjoy doing absolutely anything with him :)

I have also learned that their are all different ways to make top ramen. Justin last night was nice enough to make top ramen for me while I was catching up on episodes LOST, and to my avail the ramen was made completely different than how I had been preparing it for myself for years! I ate what he had prepared for me so nicely, and ate it with a smile. I told him and he had to try the way i'm used to making it. I made it my way tonight. Well, we agreed that we will come to some sort of compromise on the whole top ramen ordeal. This is a important issue :)

I kind of refuse to call myself an Oregonian. The concept of that word remind me of a orangutang ( you know..an orange monkey), which doesn't all sound appealing. THEREFORE! I have kind of adapted a new rule that I sort of made up. But if you think about it, it makes sense. And here it is: I can't officially be an Oregonian unless I either have a.) grew up here or b.) lived here for at least 10 years. AND since I do not personally apply to either one of those things I am NOT an Oregonian! I might also add that that is the name of their local newspaper. THE OREGONIAN. I can just see it now on the front page.." THIS JUST IN!!!! BLONDE GIRL CAUSES AN UP ROAR IN THE CITY OF WILSONVILLE. THE ABNORMALLY TALL GIRL WAS CAUGHT SINGING AND DANCING IN THE STREETS. ALL CARS STOPPED AND BYSTANDERS STOOD IN AWE AT THIS GIRL WHO CLAIMS SHE IS FROM CALIFORNIA INFLUENCED THE PEOPLE AROUND HER TO JOIN IN SONG! PARENTS, CHILDREN, AND EVEN SENIOR CITIZENS IN WHEELCHAIRS WERE SINGING! WHEN QUESTIONED AFTER THE INCIDENT, SHE SAID, AND I QUOTE, ' I JUST WAS WALKING WITH MY FACE IN A BOOK, COMPLETELY ENTHRALLED IN WHAT I WAS READING, WHEN I LOOKED BEHIND ME TO SEE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE BEHIND ME, FOLLOWING ME. I STARTED TO SING DANCE AND THEY KNEW THE SONG, EVERYONE KNEW THE SAME SONG I WAS SINGING! AND THE SAME DANCE! BEFORE I KNEW IT I WAS STARTING TO SING A VERSE TO HAVE THE MAILMAN FINISH IT IN PERFECT HARMONY! IT ALL STARTED HAPPENING SO FAST AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, THE WHOLE TOWN SEEMED TO BE INVOLVED!' " THE GIRL MADE AN INQUIRY AFTER WE QUESTIONED HER, SHE ASKED," HASN'T ANY OF YOU SEEN THE DISNEY MOVIE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST?" (STORY CONTINUES ON PAGE 8)

End note: Today at the coffee shop this older gentlemen was walking by and accidently hit his foot on the near by chair, the lady accompanying him asked him if he was alright and he responded, "Yes, I am alright, thankfully for you I kicked the chair not the bucket."

Just The Beginning...

2008-07-10T14:40:00.000-07:00

I live in a town where people don't have to lock their doors. I woke up the other morning to find the front door open as well as the back door that led to the yard and the garage door, with no cars and no sign of anyone. I was by myself. Its not a usual thing to carry around keys aside from your car keys. No one lives in fear of anything getting stolen? I have never lived in a town like that, and now I do. There is no wind, just a slight breeze on a hot summer day. Always green..always moist. Trees surround me as I travel from to to here in my pretty green car. Oh how I love to drive my car. After not having a car for 3 months you sure become thankful when you get one back, one that is your your very own. I live in a town where no one cuts each other off and their is not traffic. Where everyone grew up together and and knows almost everyone who passes by. Everyone seems much nicer in Oregon. Or maybe its just this little town called Wilsonville. I have noticed that the people here are consistently happy and they like to live here. And, as I have mentioned before, most of them have lived here for most of their lives. Things have slown down here, no one is in a hurry. They know how to relax here and enjoy the little things in life. They appreciate family and community. It seems as though their biggest worry of the day is accidently getting the wrong mail in their mail box. Becky and Mike, whom I live with, fantastic people, who have taken me in to live in their home, love on me as if I was their own. Becky was sorting through the mail to find out that none had their name on it.

"Mr. Mailman..." Becky says referring to Mike, her husband, "You brought in the wrong mail..this isn't ours...its Joyce's and Peggy's from next store".

"Well, honey.." Mike responds, " I didn't look at it..I just brought it in."

Do I really live here? It all seems so surreal. Did I really pack up my room from my big beautiful house in california and leave my roomates, my job, my family, and my best friends??

You know what I have noticed about parents houses? They always have food. Therefore if you are over at their house their is always something to eat. When I lived at my parents house that was the case and now that I live that Justin's parents house, that is also the case.

Justin. now thats a whole other story now isn't it??

Having something to eat all the time is terrific. When I lived on my own I rarely had food in the house. When the roommates and I first moved in we all went shopping together and everything in the fridge was up for grabs. At one point, my roommate Ashley decided she wanted to buy her own food. Kristin, my other former roommate, and I both agreed it was time to buy our own food. I liked the idea for the first couple of weeks, until I was hungry and couldn't afford food anymore and didn't have a car, so all I saw was food in the fridge I couldn't consume myself because it has other people's names on it: Ashley and Kristin.

Plus its also fortunate when you have someone around who knows you so well that he gets everything you could possibly think about eating, drinking, or snacking on, for you.

Justin. We are back to him again. He's the guy that took me out last night to the city, Portland. Fed me, made me laugh and smile and then wanted to take me for a walk. It was in the city and it happened just I would have liked it too, or have even daydreamed about. The water was calm and serene and the bridge above it was lit up with colorful lights. I asked what the lights were for, and he said so the boats can see the bridge as it goes through. I didn't believe him cause I didn't see any boats. But, a little while later, I did see one. The bridge separated and raised so hey large boat could go through. My brother, Phil, was walking with Justin and I on the pier. It was a beautiful night, perfect actually and the skyline was all lit up with the clear night sky in the back ground. You can still see the clouds in the sky when its dark in Oregon. Beautiful combination of dark and light blue outlining the clouds. Phil wandered off on his own and Justin grabbed my hand in that sweet way of his. We were by ourselves now. I kept my eyes on the water, the sky, the skyline, the lamp posts, and park benches, and thought to myself, this is just like a movie. I was thinking if I could choose a soundtrack right now, what song would I choose for this very moment? I felt his eyes on me and my heart fluttered and I felt my stomach leap and and I thought of some way to let out the butterflies that fly free inside me...what is this feeling? This feeling that I have never felt before...

Their is no sales tax in Oregon. Which seems to surprise me EVERY single time. What can I say? I'm easily amused and caught off guard. Things actually cost what you purchase them for! amazing! its great.

AND. I don't have to pump my own gas..because not only do I have a boy that follows me around that would gladly do it for me, BUT it is actually against the law to pump your own gas in Oregon. You pull up to the gas station and people actually pump the gas for you! It's their job!! I find myself being amused, pleasantly surprised, and joyful every day...yet this is only the beginning of the glorious journey God has has set before me...