It's Time....

Sometimes it's time to kick yourself into gear and get started. 

Life and opportunities are too short to sit and complain or to wait for something to change or happen. Does God not know our innermost thoughts? Did He not knit us together in our mother's womb? He knows us. He CREATED us! Then why, do I inquire, do we not come to Him in our time of need? Why do we try to handle everything on our own? I know that I myself am guilty of it. I bottle up everything inside until one night I'm crying myself to sleep and I don't know why. Is it because I am unhappy? Or is it simply because I try to control everything in my little world only to watch it fall apart from under feet? HE KNOWS ME. Who else knows me as He does? He can answer those questions that keep you awake at night. He knows everything you feel beneath the surface, beneath the front of how you allow yourself to be perceived. To try to understand the complexity of the Almighty God is too intricate to attempt to describe. Get started! He tells me. "For what?" I ask. "Get started for what?" I ask again. The answer is simply this: Its time. 

I could simply ask the same question once again of, "for what? It is time...for what??"

Yet, instead I sit in silence and I wait...He knows my innermost thoughts. He knows my doubts. He knows my anxiety. So I wait. 

God has always had a sense of humor with me. Ever since I was a child. He always talked with me and allowed me to feel his presence, He did this so  I would never doubt His existence. Yet, I still did; I still doubted him. Everyday. Why? Because I am human with a human mind. Simple I know, but true. A mind that tends to wander, and a mind stuck in a flesh body with a  spiritual freedom it cannot comprehend. I always wandered, aimlessly really, in some attempt to find myself, "away from God." He talked to me too much, or so I thought. (Little did I know that this is a gift and I should cherish it everyday. Little did I know that some people struggle to hear the voice of the Lord and I am running from it!) 

When I was a little girl about 4 years old, I knew who Jesus was, but I had no idea that He was the one speaking to me all the time; So lovingly, so father-like. I would sing all the time as a little girl out of the pure joy I felt with God and when He was communicating with me. As I got older, and not so naive, I started to think I was a crazy with this voice in my head and I would try to block it out. You know how they say you reach a point when you don't think like a kid anymore? I think that point was when I had a, what I call "Samuel experience"... 

I was 11 years old and in my family's spare room, (spare 'oom:) unplugging my Cd player from the outlet, when I heard someone call my name loud and clear. "Melissa". I heard the voice say gently. Being caught off guard, the voice started me so that I hit my head under the table. Thinking that my dad was calling me, I went to go find him, not knowing where he was. I look to see that he was in out backyard tending to the pool. "That doesn't make sense". I thought to myself. "How could I hear my dad's voice so gently when he is all the way outside?" 

Shaking it off, I went back to the spare room in a second attempt to unplug my CD player, since I had got too startled the first time to succeed.  I bent down once again and went underneath the table and heard the voice again, just as gentle as before."Melissa." I don't hit my head this time, but the voice still surprises me. This time I run outside to see my dad still tending to the pool, just like he was just a couple of minutes ago. I stand there watching him a couple of seconds. He skims the pine needles and dead bugs from the pool with his handy dandy net, or "skimmer", as he called it. 

"Hey Mels." My dad smiles and looks up at me from his chore. 

"Hey dad," I say contemplatively. "Dad?" I ask.

"Yes, daughter?" he answers me.

"Well, see, um... I was unplugging my CD player from the guest room and I thought I heard you calling me." 

"Nope, that wasn't me," my dad says simply. 

I stand there in silence for a little while. I was confident I had heard something. 

"Well, if it wasn't you, then who was it?" I said to my dad, knowing perfectly well that no one else in that house had that father-like voice that I had heard so clear. 

My dad stopped skimming the pool for the unwanted insects, and stopped and thought without looking at me. 

A minute passed. 

"Maybe, just maybe, it was God calling your name," he says after much thought. My dad smiles a knowing smile. 

I think about this. How? I ask myself. I knew who God was. I knew about the Bible. I knew about church. I knew that God loved me, I had grown up on Bible verses and sunday school telling me so. But, I still didn't understand. I knew about God, but why was He calling My NAME?? 

My dad suggested I go back into the room and answer as Samuel did when he was informed it was God who was calling him. "Here I am". Of course I knew of the story in the Bible. 

Little did I know at the time that that experience was only the start of the many experiences that I had yet to experience God talking to me. At 11 years old I was attempting to try to understand what many people have unanswered questions about: separating God in heaven and in church, and God, who is real, who knows each and every one of us and how He tries to communicate with us everyday. The Almighty God in heaven who created both the heavens and the earth talks to us? He knows the comings and going ons of our daily lives? He cares about whether or not I get a job? He cares about my struggles and my insecurities? He cares about me finding love? Its the idea that most people have trouble grasping onto, separating God in heaven, and God with us, communing with us. 

I took to heart what my dad said about God calling my name and instead of embracing it as a young girl, I was fearful. I went right into the spare room, shaking, as I have never done before. I bent down underneath the table and yanked the plug out of the outlet and then what did you think I did? I ran out of the room as fast as I could. Thinking that for some reason, me being under that table was the cause of me hearing that voice, calling my name, so gently, so father-like, so... familiar.  Little did I know that I didn't have to be under a table to hear God's voice; He would use many different ways of getting my attention...

(To be continued...)

It's Raining..It's Pouring..Old Papa Hi Honey is Snoring!!

"You two are my favorite people! Both of you come here and give Big Bitty a hug!!" 

Those were the words that greeted Justin and I as we arrived at the Storm Family Reunion. I was invited camping for the weekend to meet Justin's extended family and Becky's side, the Storms. "Big Bitty" is the name that Mike refers to himself as the third person, he gave us both a kiss on the cheek. 

"I am so happy you guys came! My little babe and darling little bondling girl!! Oh how I love you both!!" 

Mike has nicknames for everybody, thats where Justin gets it from. Justin, being the baby of the family, his dad has always called him his little babe, and I don't really understand my nickname, "Little bondling girl", I asked Mike one time what he meant by calling me that, and he said its like what a cute little baby duckling is, just precious! He says. Well, if that were the case, wouldn't he just call me little duckling girl? 

Becky is amazing and she prepared all the meals for the week, I ate very well. I learned about some new foods too that I have never tried before. Crab bread was one of them. Very good. Fresh crab, (not that imitation stuff), sour cream, mayonnaise, parsley, garlic, lemon juice, swiss cheese and butter on a baguette bread. Delicious! I found out that Justin loves this stuff and ate like 18 pieces of it...and I'm not exaggerating! Also, I learned a way to make omelets for 30 people successfully. You take two eggs and and place them in a plastic bag. Then you put all the ingredients (which were laid out for us beforehand: tomatoes, cheese, ham, spinach, turkey, avocado, peppers, etc) that you want in your omelette, and you write your name on it.. (this would be a good idea to do before you start putting ingredients in your bag). We then boiled all the bags in hot water for about 14 minutes...and voila! A gourmet omelette! it was so good..I was fascinated with the process which I have obviously never tried before. Beforehand, I did attempt to help Becky in the madness of preparing for 30 people. I found out I can whip up blueberry muffins ( from blueberries that her and I had hand-picked earlier that afternoon), snicker doodles, and chocolate chip oatmeal cookies in one night fairly quickly, with all the ingredients in front of you and two ovens.(and help from Becky). Exhilarating! The best part of camping is by far every meal, I look forward to the announcements that the meals are ready. I also heart coffee in the morning, because no matter what anyone says, coffee heals. Especially after the first morning I had there this last saturday... 

I slept in a tent with Justin's parents and his nephew Zion. Well, about 5 o'clock in the morning it decides to rain, pour actually, and not soon after all of us sleeping in the tent are being woken up by drops of water on our faces. The tent was flooding and it was raining outside and their was absolutely nothing we could do about it. Jodi, Justin's sister, was in a tent also with her husband, Chris. She had of course woken up from all the commotion and yelled over to our tent, "Welcome to Oregon Melissa! I bet it doesn't rain like this in California". Actually, it doesn't, but that's not the point. The point is, it was raining and no one had planned on it and at 6:00 am we were stuck in a wet tent with wet sleeping bags. 

Zion, at 6 years old, was very confused at the feeling of drops on his head as he woke up, "Gamma Becky..um..is their a hole in this tent?"

 "No honey," Becky responded, "Its raining outside."

 "Well, when is it gonna stop?" Zion asks as he has a concerned look on his face. 

Mike had woken up now as sunshine-ey as ever (because Mike is a morning person). He was in a cot, as was Becky, and I was in a sleeping bag on the ground at the foot of his cot. Well, his face was looking down at me as he smiled and yelled, "Hi Honey!!" In his booming high pitched voice of his. I couldn't help but smile despite the rain. "Don't wake her up Mike," Becky said to her husband as I was still cuddled up in my wet blankets. Zion had completely gotten up now and kept asking Mike what the plan was. Zion saw this situation as a problem that needed to be solved as soon as possible (he is just like his daddy).

 "Papa Hi Honey...um..what is the plan?? What are we gonna do?" 

Zion has been calling Mike papa hi honey ever since he could talk because that is what he always heard when he was greeted by his papa, "Hi honey!!" In that voice of his.

 I went to check my phone to see what time it was, only to found out I didn't have it. I couldn't find it anywhere! I retraced the steps in my mind of when I had my phone last. I remembered I had left it outside the night before! I left the tent in a hurry and ran through the rain to see if it was still where I had left it, on the picnic table. Well, to my dismay and utter disappointment, it was gone! Along with my digital camera as well! I was thinking that if I were in California it would have been stolen, thats what I thought at first. I told Becky and she had insisted that it was not stolen. "I'm sure it wasn't stolen, someone must have picked it up for you when they found out it was raining". Well, she was right. I had found out a little later on that Jodi had picked it up for me and placed it in a dry spot when she had went to the bathroom earlier that morning when it had started to rain. Oh how thankful I was!! Thankful that I lived in a community that didn't steal other peoples things, and thankful that my phone had only been slightly rained on. My phone, after a few minor scares of it not coming back to life, now works just fine. So it rains 75% of the year in Oregon, so what? I can handle it. 

Once the sky cleared up and the sunshine peeked through we all decided to go out on the water. Some rode jet skis, others Kayaked. I rode in the fancy boat with Justin, his cousins Clint, Katie, Rosie, and Cody, his Aunt Cindy, Becky and DJ's Sister, Joy (DJ is Jeremy's wife, who is Justin's brother). Katie, who is 10, was attempting to try to convince me to go tubing with her. I was scared out of my mind as I watched her, Joy and Cody try it themselves. It looked like they were almost gonna tip over! Never trying it before, I thought that this was the perfect opportunity for me to go for it. I pushed past my fears, talking myself through it, it didn't matter that Justin said he would go with me and not let anything happen to me or that his 6 year old cousin Cody was more excited than I was. 

"Melissa," I said to myself, "You are a very good swimmer, if you tip over you can swim to shore if you have too..plus, you will be wearing a life vest..that allows you to float, what is there to be scared of?" 

As I talked myself through it I got on. Cody was in the middle of Justin and I, we went so fast that I popped up and slapped my legs together! That wasn't a very good feeling. Cody was laughing yelling, "Go faster, Go faster!!" As his mother was telling Clint to slow down. I was yelling but what I was saying didn't make any sense at all as I was just screaming noises to get myself to calm down as the adrenaline was racing through me. When I looked ahead wind was hitting my face so fast that I couldn't make out anything in front of me as my eyes were tearing and my hair was flying out of place. BUT when I looked over on the sides of where I was the trees were beautiful as they were passing and the water rushing by, and my boyfriend's face smiling at me and constantly asking me, "Are you ok, baby?"

 

Getting off the tube, Joy was very proud of me, as was Becky who had had Clint stop the boat to check on the 3 of us. I thought maybe she had heard me screaming. Joy did tell me that if she did it, (it was her first time too), then I would HAVE to do it. That was the deal, so you see, I HAD to go through with it.  I am so glad I did. 

I love the talks around the campfires of the older generations informing the younger of what once was and what they are to look forward to. Funny stories of recalling past memories, and some sad ones as we remember what made us who we are today. I met so many people this past weekend, all Justin's extended family on his mom's side. It could have been overwhelming, but I found it exciting. They were extremely welcoming and kind, and I saw why Becky turned out the way she is as I got to know her mother more. Becky is always serving other people, as did her mother. So many nice people I met this weekend, I felt honored to have met them and be apart of their little family get together. It made me miss my family even more than I already do. It also made me feel so incredibly blessed for the opportunities and the people that God has placed in my life. I loved the card games and new board games I learned how to play as I got familiar with this group of people.

 "I could get used to this.." I thought to myself when the weekend was over.

I feel like I'm breathing...

Oh the simplicities of life! 

I am enjoying every minute of this thing they called "small town living". I am so very thankful what the Lord has provided for me to experience Him in such a divine way today. I woke up got ready and packed a lunch for Justin and I. I met him at the park and waited for him to get done with coaching his dad's kids basketball camp called "Coach Nics Little Hoopsters". He helps his dad coach in a couple of weeks in the summer. It was such a beautiful day outside, not too hot with a slight breeze. After he was all done and had packed all his stuff up, we ate the sandwiches that I had made at a near by picnic bench. I observed several people at the park, doing their own thing. Most of them were woman with their children. Some of them sat in the sun in their tank tops and shorts and chatted with their girlfriends as their kids played in the playground. Some parents had come to see their smaller children play at the basketball camp and cheered them on. Their were some joggers and bike riders. Others playing tennis in a near by court. So much activity going on. I loved it. 

Everywhere you go in this town is beautiful. Have I mentioned how green it is? I can't get over how nice everyone is here. They all smile a hello as you pass by, whether of not they know you. All the small town folk that live here pretty much all know each other anyways. Justin and I went on a walk Sunday in the later afternoon and we ran into 4 different people that he knew and had made conversation with as they stopped and said hello. The neighbors, near by school police, his parents friends, kids our age that he went to school with, you get the idea. I am enjoying and embracing all the moments I am privileged with, as I live in this town so different from the one I grew up in. 

After Justin and I had lunch, we strolled down to the local coffee shop. I love to sit in there. Not only do they have big comfy couches with colorful pillows I might add, BUT they also have very colorful decorations covering the walls, and is very creative with the different chairs as one can choose to sit at the counter in tall stools where your feet dangle off, (yes even my feet dangle, the chairs are that tall!) OR you may sit by the window and watch as the locals walk by while walking their dogs, or pushing their toddler in a stroller, or holding their significant others hand, or watch the gramma's and grandpas with their grandchildren. I sat by the window this time and once Justin left for his second job ( he works construction and was painting all day), I imagined myself as apart of this town, which I guess I am now, right? I do live here and will soon be working here. I start my job in september. Until then I spend my time with the simple things and doing what I love to do. I wrote all afternoon today. It was an amazing feeling. I felt like I was breathing again. I drink lots of coffee daily. I water the out door plants. I pick raspberries and blueberries and marionbarries (which are only grown in Oregon). Oh! And strawberries! Yes, I hand picked them! I play lots of games in the evening like crochet (we set it up in the back yard, and played with Justin's Brother Jeremy, his wife DJ, and their son, Zion), 313 (a card game I recently learned), and Becky (Justin's mom let me borrow her bike this evening; I toured the neighborhood and watched as everyone was enjoying the weather just as I was. It had gotten so much cooler in the evening and it felt great to be outside! And, I also spend my time with my new boyfriend, Justin, who makes everything fun as I enjoy doing absolutely anything with him :) 

I have also learned that their are all different ways to make top ramen. Justin last night was nice enough to make top ramen for me while I was catching up on episodes LOST, and to my avail the ramen was made completely different than how I had been preparing it for myself for years! I ate what he had prepared for me so nicely, and ate it with a smile. I told him and he had to try the way i'm used to making it. I made it my way tonight. Well, we agreed that we will come to some sort of compromise on the whole top ramen ordeal. This is a important issue :)

I kind of refuse to call myself an Oregonian. The concept of that word remind me of a orangutang ( you know..an orange monkey), which doesn't all sound appealing. THEREFORE! I have kind of adapted a new rule that I sort of made up. But if you think about it, it makes sense. And here it is: I can't officially be an Oregonian unless I either have a.) grew up here or b.) lived here for at least 10 years. AND since I do not personally apply to either one of those things I am NOT an Oregonian! I might also add that that is the name of their local newspaper. THE OREGONIAN. I can just see it now on the front page.." THIS JUST IN!!!! BLONDE GIRL CAUSES AN UP ROAR IN THE CITY OF WILSONVILLE. THE ABNORMALLY TALL GIRL WAS CAUGHT SINGING AND DANCING IN THE STREETS. ALL CARS STOPPED AND BYSTANDERS STOOD IN AWE AT THIS GIRL WHO CLAIMS SHE IS FROM CALIFORNIA INFLUENCED THE PEOPLE AROUND HER TO JOIN IN SONG! PARENTS, CHILDREN, AND EVEN SENIOR CITIZENS IN WHEELCHAIRS WERE SINGING! WHEN QUESTIONED AFTER THE INCIDENT, SHE SAID, AND I QUOTE, ' I JUST WAS WALKING WITH MY FACE IN A BOOK, COMPLETELY ENTHRALLED IN WHAT I WAS READING, WHEN I LOOKED BEHIND ME TO SEE ALL OF THESE PEOPLE BEHIND ME, FOLLOWING ME.  I STARTED TO SING DANCE AND THEY KNEW THE SONG, EVERYONE KNEW THE SAME SONG I WAS SINGING! AND THE SAME DANCE! BEFORE I KNEW IT I WAS STARTING TO SING A VERSE TO HAVE THE MAILMAN FINISH IT IN PERFECT HARMONY! IT ALL STARTED HAPPENING SO FAST AND BEFORE I KNEW IT, THE WHOLE TOWN SEEMED TO BE INVOLVED!' " THE GIRL MADE AN INQUIRY AFTER WE QUESTIONED HER, SHE ASKED," HASN'T ANY OF YOU SEEN THE DISNEY MOVIE BEAUTY AND THE BEAST?" (STORY CONTINUES ON PAGE 8)

End note: Today at the coffee shop this older gentlemen was walking by and accidently hit his foot on the near by chair, the lady accompanying him asked him if he was alright and he responded, "Yes, I am alright, thankfully for you I kicked the chair not the bucket."

Just The Beginning...

I live in a town where people don't have to lock their doors. I woke up the other morning to find the front door open as well as the back door that led to the yard and the garage door, with no cars and no sign of anyone. I was by myself. Its not a usual thing to carry around keys aside from your car keys. No one lives in fear of anything getting stolen? I have never lived in a town like that, and now I do. There is no wind, just a slight breeze on a hot summer day. Always green..always moist. Trees surround me as I travel from to to here in my pretty green car. Oh how I love to drive my car. After not having a car for 3 months you sure become thankful when you get one back, one that is your your very own. I live in a town where no one cuts each other off and their is not traffic. Where everyone grew up together and and knows almost everyone who passes by. Everyone seems much nicer in Oregon. Or maybe its just this little town called Wilsonville. I have noticed that the people here are consistently happy and they like to live here. And, as I have mentioned before, most of them have lived here for most of their lives. Things have slown down here, no one is in a hurry. They know how to relax here and enjoy the little things in life. They appreciate family and community. It seems as though their biggest worry of the day is accidently getting the wrong mail in their mail box. Becky and Mike, whom I live with, fantastic people, who have taken me in to live in their home, love on me as if I was their own. Becky was sorting through the mail to find out that none had their name on it.

 "Mr. Mailman..." Becky says referring to Mike, her husband, "You brought in the wrong mail..this isn't ours...its Joyce's and Peggy's from next store". 

"Well, honey.." Mike responds, " I didn't look at it..I just brought it in." 

Do I really live here? It all seems so surreal. Did I really pack up my room from my big beautiful house in california and leave my roomates, my job, my family, and my best friends?? 

You know what I have noticed about parents houses? They always have food. Therefore if you are over at their house their is always something to eat. When I lived at my parents house that was the case and now that I live that Justin's parents house, that is also the case. 

Justin. now thats a whole other story now isn't it??

Having something to eat all the time is terrific.  When I lived on my own I rarely had food in the house. When the roommates and I first moved in we all went shopping together and everything in the fridge was up for grabs. At one point, my roommate Ashley decided she wanted to buy her own food. Kristin, my other former roommate, and I both agreed it was time to buy our own food. I liked the idea for the first couple of weeks, until I was hungry and couldn't afford food anymore and didn't have a car, so all I saw was food in the fridge I couldn't consume myself because it has other people's names on it: Ashley and Kristin. 

Plus its also fortunate when you have someone around who knows you so well that he gets everything you could possibly think about eating, drinking, or snacking on, for you. 

Justin. We are back to him again. He's the guy that took me out last night to the city, Portland. Fed me, made me laugh and smile and then wanted to take me for a walk. It was in the city and it happened just I would have liked it too, or have even daydreamed about. The water was calm and serene and the bridge above it was lit up with colorful lights. I asked what the lights were for, and he said so the boats can see the bridge as it goes through. I didn't believe him cause I didn't see any boats. But, a little while later, I did see one. The bridge separated and raised so hey large boat could go through. My brother, Phil, was walking with Justin and I on the pier. It was a beautiful night, perfect actually and the skyline was all lit up with the clear night sky in the back ground. You can still see the clouds in the sky when its dark in Oregon. Beautiful combination of dark and light blue outlining the clouds. Phil wandered off on his own and Justin grabbed my hand in that sweet way of his. We were by ourselves now. I kept my eyes on the water, the sky, the skyline, the lamp posts, and park benches, and thought to myself, this is just like a movie. I was thinking if I could choose a soundtrack right now, what song would I choose for this very moment? I felt his eyes on me and my heart fluttered and I felt my stomach leap and and I thought of some way to let out the butterflies that fly free inside me...what is this feeling? This feeling that I have never felt before...

Their is no sales tax in Oregon. Which seems to surprise me EVERY single time. What can I say? I'm easily amused and caught off guard. Things actually cost what you purchase them for! amazing! its great. 

AND. I don't have to pump my own gas..because not only do I have a boy that follows me around that would gladly do it for me, BUT it is actually against the law to pump your own gas in Oregon. You pull up to the gas station and people actually pump the gas for you! It's their job!! I find myself being amused, pleasantly surprised, and joyful every day...yet this is only the beginning of the glorious journey God has has set before me...